An old bit I wrote

Found it in my old stuff and laughed...figured I should share

Gamers in Love

Man:  What a sweet ass game….the graphics fucking rock…there’s an orc (or insert whatever other target here)….gotta kill it….

Woman:  He came home and went straight up to the computer…I wonder if everything’s okay….I’ll take his dinner up to him…must’ve had a bad day…

Man:  Orc…(bam)..ha…ha….oh, food – cool…oh shit, another orc….(bam)..crap must thank Woman…. “thanks”

Woman:  He didn’t even look up at me when I brought him food and barely mumbled “thanks”…is he mad at me?…

Man:  Orc….(bam)…one more and I should level up…wonder what skills I can buy…oh a troll…(bam)…ha…ha…got him…

Woman:  Maybe I’ll take a bath and put on something sexy…maybe it’ll fix what’s wrong….

Man:  Food’s good…nice of her to bring it up…she’s so sweet….(bam)…FUCK…I missed

Woman (now all sexy and smelling good and trying her best to be charming and kiss butt to fix whatever he’s ignoring her about):  “Hey, honey…was dinner okay?  Can I get you anything else?”  standing in the door in his favorite black lace see-through teddy….

Man:  fuck, where are these bastards coming from….I’m almost dead….woman talked…must answer… “No, I’m good”….

Woman (screaming):  “YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE!  FUCK YOU!”…son of bitch won’t even turn around (out she storms)…it must be because I’m fat and he doesn’t love me anymore….maybe there’s another woman…some young slut or something…..cries…

Man:  what the hell is her problem….oh…cool, I’m now a 5^th level Ranger….what skills should I buy now?…kick ass game…must tell the other’s about it…..I wonder if there’s dessert?

Sex

Got your attention now, didn't I?  Ha ha.

First off I'd like to say that a person is able to do whatever they want to whoever they want without my judgement.  As long as you stay away from kids and animals, you're cool with me.  It's your life and it's your body.  Have fun.

That being said, here's where you can absolutely piss me off.  If you start thinking with your lady parts and get to the point where you don't care that you hurt your friends or that you can't be there for someone who's falling apart because having sex is more important to you, I get pissed.  REALLY pissed.

When you know a lot of people, you hear a lot of stories and have to witness a lot of things.  This is not the first time (nor the last time, I'm sure) that I've had to witness this.  Some people try to call it a sex addiction...I call it being an asshole.

You know, maybe I'm not as sexy as those girls who are like that.  Maybe I just can't compare...but you know what...I much rather have the person that I'm with think they're special because I'm with them, because I want them instead of them being just a tool to scratch an itch (or one of many).  I can't treat people as objects and sex to me is earthy and sensual..not casual...at least not like that.

I've also discovered an interesting thing...I'm a much more exciting partner by being the way I am.  I'm quality...and I want quality.  I want lots of frequent wild craziness with one person....if that makes me less sexier than those women...oh well.  Guaranteed I'm a lot more fun being me than they are being the way they are.

At least I think I am...

Learning to live for me

Another step forward in the direction of living my life the way I want instead of the way I think I "should"

I'm auditioning for a new burlesque troupe down here this Saturday come hell or high water.  They're new...I'm out of practice with my singing and dancing, but dammit, I'm giving it a shot.  If I get nervous and fuck up, well I'll just volunteer for behind the scenes stuff until I get a chance to try again.  They are looking for attitude mostly...for someone with the guts to do it.

So I'm dusting off and polishing my giant pair of brass balls.  Yeah, they're going to need as much practice as my voice, but I'm going to do it.

Fear and what other people think aren't standing in my way anymore.  I'm going for what I want.  Either love me and support me or there's the door.

Because I'm charming, I'm sweet, I'm sexy and dammit I'm a catch.  This troupe needs me.

Really?

Okay...this is just damn weird.  Apparently there's this new campaign to get me to write a book.  Supposedly I'm funny and say things in entertaining ways.  Problem is, I don't think I'm entertaining or funny at all.  I think I'm a silly flake with a good grasp on sarcasm.  Not really sure what translates into "book" about that.

Yeah, I've had a gazzillion ideas through the years, but nothing really seems to be just right.  I did have an outline for a vampire story a few years back, but I'm sure as hell not jumping on that band wagon right now.

The most prevalent suggestion is for me to write about my life.  Do you know how much I'd have to water it down and change names to protect...well...EVERYBODY?  I seriously know way too much...and a large portion of my life isn't safe for public consumption anyway (and honestly...I like it that way).

I suppose I could just focus on the kids and being a mom...but in this day in age, would I have Children Services showing up at my door because I fed my kid peanut butter before he was a year?  I spank my 3 year old (trying to reason with an overly emotional child with my genetic makeup is just an exercise in futility), he isn't potty trained (because he's trying to out stubborn me) and there are days where locking him in the closet really does sound like a fine idea (yet an idea I won't do...I promise...sarcasm, remember).

I don't just want to write because people think I should.  Plus, the most fun stuff for me is erotica, and I'm damn sure the family members really don't want to read exactly how freakish I can be.

Meh....we'll see what happens.

So another year

I suppose I'm supposed to write something profound for the New Year...talk about resolutions, hopes, yada yada.  I guess if I was a decent blog writer I would, but I'm just not in the place to do that right now.  Those close to me know what I want this year.  They know I want more time, more memories, more laughter.  They know that I want my important relationships to grow, become stronger and they sure as hell know what they mean to me (because I'm getting a lot better at letting them know...and at letting them in).  There may have been un-necessary silences, there may have been too much distance in 2010...too much wallowing on my part, but that time is over.

That's as close as I can get to reflection right now.  There's so much happening around me that I can't completely think clearly.  There are lives falling apart, friends who may have a very different New Years next year, marriages that haven't made it...marriages that still might not.  I've watched hearts be broken and felt helpless and stuck.  I haven't been able to fix anything for anyone.  I haven't been able to stop their hurting (and in some cases provided more pain).

I guess what I hope more than anything is that this year I become a better person, a better friend, a better lover.  I hope I bring more joy than sadness and I hope I have enough energy to help heal all those broken hearts.  If I can't help them heal, maybe I can just lighten them a little and give them hope for something brighter.

We'll see.

New Year's

Posting my status for those that lurk here that don't have a fb page.

Everyone be safe and have a wonderful time tonight. Much love to you and hope for a fantastic New Year. Remember...you create your own luck, your own magic and only you can make your dreams into goals...into realities. Let go of fear and live the life you were meant to live...and keep smilin' .


MWAH ;-)

Just call me Cassandra

Gotta love it.  Most of the time when I talk, I know what I'm talking about.  If I don't, I either keep my mouth shut or ask questions so I can learn.  I'm intuitive, I'm practical and much of what I "claim" to know, I actually have the experience to back it up.  So why the f*ck would anyone listen to a damn word I say, huh?

What has gotten my feathers all in a bunch this time is the subject of weight loss with two important folks in my life.  It essentially comes down to if they don't get a clue, they will die...and sooner, not later.

Why would I know anything about healthy weight loss?  Could it be that before I got pregnant with my first child I went from 155 lbs and a size 12 to 116 lbs and a size 2?  It took from March until August.  I was healthy, active and in the best shape of my life.  Now I've lost 40 lbs baby weight without really putting in a lot of serious effort...but I don't know jack about jack.

How did I do it?  EXERCISE mainly....that and the Weight Watchers diet.  It works...I get balanced healthy meals, I generally feel good and I don't cut out the things I adore.  If I want a pulled pork sandwich with coleslaw and fries, I have it, dammit.  I just don't eat that way all the time.  I'm too much of a sensualist to deprive myself of any of my creature comforts...but I do practice moderation (tends to make the things I enjoy occasionally oh so much better).  Oh...and I rarely go out to eat.  That shit tastes wonderful, but it'll kill you if you do it all the time.

And yes, I hear a few of you interjecting with the "sometimes you don't eat breakfast or lunch and I have to yell at you" comment.  Honestly, when I'm doing things this way...I do VERY well.  I eat what meals I'm supposed to.  REALLY.  Sh...I hear you.  I DO!  That one time I just messed up...that's all....I'm smarter now.

So...I know what I'm talking about, right?  So what do the two people I'm telling this to do...completely tune me out and continue on with their "low carb" diet with little to no exercise.  Always a great plan for people who have a family history of heart disease and strokes.  Plus, it makes your breath smell.

But yeah...why listen to me....I had a baby 4 months ago and am wearing a size 8 (and 5 lbs away from my pre-Sam weight).

And I even drink beer.

Whatever...