So another year

I suppose I'm supposed to write something profound for the New Year...talk about resolutions, hopes, yada yada.  I guess if I was a decent blog writer I would, but I'm just not in the place to do that right now.  Those close to me know what I want this year.  They know I want more time, more memories, more laughter.  They know that I want my important relationships to grow, become stronger and they sure as hell know what they mean to me (because I'm getting a lot better at letting them know...and at letting them in).  There may have been un-necessary silences, there may have been too much distance in 2010...too much wallowing on my part, but that time is over.

That's as close as I can get to reflection right now.  There's so much happening around me that I can't completely think clearly.  There are lives falling apart, friends who may have a very different New Years next year, marriages that haven't made it...marriages that still might not.  I've watched hearts be broken and felt helpless and stuck.  I haven't been able to fix anything for anyone.  I haven't been able to stop their hurting (and in some cases provided more pain).

I guess what I hope more than anything is that this year I become a better person, a better friend, a better lover.  I hope I bring more joy than sadness and I hope I have enough energy to help heal all those broken hearts.  If I can't help them heal, maybe I can just lighten them a little and give them hope for something brighter.

We'll see.